5 Basic Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage That Will Help Prevent Divorce
When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and settling down, we rarely like to think about one of the possible outcomes of getting married: getting divorced.
Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of a some relationships.
Even though divorce definitely happens, that doesn’t mean it has to happen to you. While you can’t prevent life from getting in the way (and unexpected barriers and obstacles coming up) you can make sure your relationship is as strong as possible to withstand them.
1. What Does Marriage Mean to You?
Marriage doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. Some people think it’s an almost all-consuming partnership, some people think it’s a legal agreement.
Talking about your expectations can make sure that neither of you has needs or expectations that aren’t being met—you can feel like you’re approaching it together.
2. What’s Your Biggest Fear?
Marriage is about understanding—and not just understanding your hopes, dreams, and ambitions. It’s also about understanding fears, regrets, and struggles.
Make sure that you’re asking the tough questions and your marriage will have a much deeper level of understanding.
3. How Much Alone Time Do You Need?
Everyone needs alone time, but some people need more than others. If you don’t know that alone time is a normal need for your partner, you may assume that they’re withdrawn, angry, or resentful when they seek space.
Establishing early on that you both need alone time—and how that manifests—will not only strengthen your relationship, it will prevent confusion in the future.
4. How Many Children Do You Want and What Would You Do if We Struggle to Get Pregnant?
Struggling to get pregnant can be devastating in a relationship, and it’s not the time you want to realize that one of you wants to go through IVF or adoption and the other thinks it’s too challenging.
Agreeing on how many children you want is good. Talking early can make sure you’re entering the situation as a team.
5. What Are Your Financial Goals and How Can We Try to Reach Them?
First and foremost, you need to talk about money. Money is the number one source of relationship stress between couples, so being on the same page about money early on is crucial.
You want to start a conversation and get a sense of whether the two of you are financially compatible not in terms of how much you earn, but in how you view and manage money.
There’s no guaranteed way to divorce-proof your marriage, but you can give it the best chance at surviving and thriving.
Having conversations before you get married on these big issues and making sure that your needs, wants, and expectations all line up can ensure you’re going into married life on the strongest possible foot.
When in doubt, communicate—ask questions, listen, and discuss. It’s the shortest path through any obstacle.
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